So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
