Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
