somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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