Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
