ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
