I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
