When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
