ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
love makes seman taste better
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
