You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
