Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
