i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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