i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize