i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
