Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
