i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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