I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
