Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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