The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
