i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
