And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
