I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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