I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
