did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize