maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
