Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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