I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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