she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
