i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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