Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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