In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Drake has all the answers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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