I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
