That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
