Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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