were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize