idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize