Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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