my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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