What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I will be naked everywhere
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am available for nakedness
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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