I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You took a bar mat shot.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
