beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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