So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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