the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize