Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
