seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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