Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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