you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
did you just send me my own nude
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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