I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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