whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
