I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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