At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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