white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
