found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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