I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
