Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
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