I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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