A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
