is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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