And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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