thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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