When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
