i think i have herpe
just one?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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