I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize