It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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