It's just like the Real World with babies
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
