there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
