I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize