I want to make a zoo with you.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
only you would photoshop your dick
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
