Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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