Dual....:-)
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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