69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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