I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's never too late to be topless.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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