My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So. Much. Porn.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
