So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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