we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
