I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
