Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
