he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
